The Salmon Dave Page

It's "singers'" night in the back of this packed boozer in Camden Town and I'm enjoying - as always - my mate Nick Marsh's set of twisted originals when he announces a guest who comes on and plays some excellent harmonica through a delay pedal and tiny distorted amplifier. I mishear his stagename "Son of Dave" as "Salmon Dave" ( a pun on the name of the most exciting vocal duo in the history of Soul music.) I can't stop myself laughing - like a 6 year old who's just found out the true meaning of the word "poo"- at the
very image this name conjures up.
A couple of days later, bored at the PC, I send an email to Steve Ullathorne, the man responsible for putting together all the good bits on this  nascent site, saying : "Ronnie Golden wishes to be known  henceforth by his piscine, blues-related
soubriquet of 'Salmon Dave' - I'm A Sole Man." Within a couple of hours he's sending back the mad photographic image you see
at the top of the page. I howl with laughter and send it to pretty much everybody I know and soon I start getting a trickle of puns down the Misinformation Rivulet; John Dowie first with "Sitting On Haddock In The Bay" for which I claim the artist's name to be 'Otis Herring' then the trickle becomes a stream which very quickly grows into a gushing torrent of 'fish/soul' references..
I've spent the last fortnight  without friends, intelligent conversation, social or sexual intercourse (no change there, I hear you rightly say) for fear of missing one more pointless pun. Even dreamt up Sardine Taylor "I Gotta Sea Bass" whilst taking a piss in The Tollgate.
So thanks to all the people who, like me, have nothing better to do than dream up this silly stuff.
Take a bow : Bryn Burrows, John Dowie, Neil Innes, Justin Tunstall, Phill Jupitus, Gavin Hackett, Steve Ullathorne, Ray Culliemore, Kevin Williamson, Gary Lawson, Rick Lecoat (with NO thanks to Jenny - BOO!), Martin Young, Richard Paul Jones and countless others. Before anyone gets on my case, yes, I DO appreciate that it's a 'guy' thing and that women have FAR more important things to think about but, hey, your input is more than welcome.
Now it's YOUR chance to ruin your lives. Just dream up some new combinations of artist and song and we'll put them on the site. Keep fishing.
xSalmon

email your suggestions here fish@ronniegolden.com